Oh when I first met my Leo he knocked on my door,

My mate let him in and he stood on the floor,

Says I am lovely Leo the stuff of folklore,

come to see if you’re up in the morning.


He stood in my room and he asked me the time,

Before I could answer, he says it’s half nine,

And what are you doing in bed all so fine?

why don’t you get up in the morning?


Oh my lovely Leo, he wears a blue shirt,

He was destined for greatness the day of his birth,

if you ask him nicely he’ll tell you what you’re worth,

Just a kick up the arse in the morning


I says to him Leo, I’m so glad you are here,

I’ve a dose of the blues and I’m filled up with fear,

If I don’t see a doctor the end might be near,

So I cannot get up in the morning.


He says my young man, this blue heart you won’t melt,

For nary a feeling have I ever felt,

And I’m cutting and cutting the oul mental health

So you’ll have to get up in the morning.


Oh my lovely Leo, he wears a blue shirt,

He was destined for greatness the day of his birth,

if you ask him nicely he’ll tell you what you’re worth,

Just a kick up the arse in the morning


But Leo, me Leo, I can’t pay me rent

For taimse in arrears and my money's all spent

The landlord, has taken me for every cent

I'll be out in a couple of mornings


He says stop all your moaning or haven't you read,

If you can’t pay your rent then your lease it is dead,

At least if you're evicted you'll get out of bed,

You’ll be raring to go in the morning.


Oh my lovely Leo, he wears a blue shirt,

He was destined for greatness the day of his birth,

if you ask him nicely he’ll tell you what you’re worth,

Just a kick up the arse in the morning


But Leo, me Leo, I have a young child,

She’s only in school and I have to provide,

What can she do with no place to reside,

If she’s out on the streets in the morning.


Why don’t you send her to an oul boarding school,

Oh 10 grand a year and she’ll turn out no fool

She’ll have bedding and boarding and learn how to rule,

How to get the plebs up in the morning.


Oh my lovely Leo, he wears a blue shirt,

He was destined for greatness the day of his birth,

if you ask him nicely he’ll tell you what you’re worth,

Just a kick up the arse in the morning


I says Leo, me Leo, what cloud are you on,

Were you smoking oul dubies in the sun for too long

To your class of rich cronies I do not belong

With ten grand I’d be grand in the morning.


But c’mere to me Leo I told you a lie,

I was out all last night, I was high as a kite,

And I’m sick of your snivelling sly feckin’ shite,

And I’ll never get up in the morning.


Oh my lovely Leo, he wears a blue shirt,

He was destined for greatness the day of his birth,

if you ask him nicely he’ll tell you what you’re worth,

Just a kick up the arse in the morning


When he heard what I said oh his face it went red

He says, you’re a lowlife, get out of the bed

You’re no banker, no landlord, you’re no thoroughbred

You disgrace of a man in the morning


And it was finally then that I thought I’d oblige,

I sprang out of bed and took hold of his tie,

And I dragged him to the door and I flung him outside,

And went back to me bed in the morning.


Oh my lovely Leo, he wears a blue shirt,

He was destined for greatness the day of his birth,

if you ask him nicely he’ll tell you what you’re worth,

Just a kick up the arse in the morning